


For I Can No Longer Call You Lover

by LeastExpected_Archivist



Category: The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, M/M, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-02-04
Updated: 2002-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:47:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26389666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeastExpected_Archivist/pseuds/LeastExpected_Archivist
Summary: by MissyCompanion piece to "The absence of reason", but from Frodo's POV. You don't have to read that story to read this one, it will make sense on its own just fine.
Relationships: Frodo Baggins/Sam Gamgee
Kudos: 1
Collections: Least Expected





	For I Can No Longer Call You Lover

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Amy Fortuna, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Least Expected](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Least_Expected), which has been offline since 2002. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on the [Least Expected collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/leastexpected/profile).

Frodo trembled, reaching out and touching Sam's lips. A thumb, seemingly of it's own accord, rubbed the lower lip gently. Sam gasped as tears ran down his face; his lips had always been extraordinarily sensitive. At any other moment this would bring pleasure to him.   
  
The secret Sam had kept from Frodo was too much though, and he told Sam that he would be going to the Havens by himself, that he was too wounded to be around him any longer. The brown eyes begged Frodo for an alternative answer; an answer that Frodo could not give.   
  
"Master..." he sobbed, "Frodo, please don't do this. Don't do this to us! I promise, it will never happen again--"  
  
Frodo ached to pull Sam into his arms as his friends shoulders shook. But he restrained himself sternly, moving his hand from Sam's lips to slap him across the face.  
  
"Do not accuse me for this." He said calmly, "I certainly didn't...Sam, but how could you? With Rosie?"  
  
Sam's cries increased in volume and he looked as though he were about to fall to his knees.  
  
"I understand you had feelings for her, but that didn't mean you had to act on them! Did you not tell me the "wedding" was just a sham to please her father? He wanted her wed by the time she was of age, and you agreed to step in and help. But, damnit man it wasn't intent on being real! Did you once think of _me_ when you kissed her? Of _me_ when you said out loud that you loved her? Of _us_ when you climbed into her bed??" Although he started out softly, his anger built as he recalled his Sam's deception, until the words struck at him like daggers.  
  
"Please Frodo, don't leave me! I'm sorry my dear, oh my dear, dear Frodo please forgive me, I'm so sorry! I...I...I wasn't thinking..."  
  
  
At that the emotional young man broke and collapsed to the ground, shaking as if the world were going to end. Frodo's heart finally softened, and he knelt by Sam and took the tear-streaked face in his hands, raising the tender brown eyes to meet his.   
  
"It hurts," he stated bluntly, "You know I love you Sam..." Frodo stroked down Sam's cheek, the other man nuzzling into the touch. His sobs had calmed now to little hiccups.  
  
"I know, I'm ever so sorry, I never wanted to hurt you. Ever." Sam took Frodo's fingers and kissed them.  
  
"Yes," Frodo said gently, allowing his fingers to be held, "But I am hurt in a way I can not mend from, I am afraid."  
  
He allowed himself one last, lingering caress on the face of the one he loved, then pulled away. Sam's sharp cry cut though his heart, but it hurt no more than the damage that was already made, that threatened to overwhelm him.  
  
"I've made my decision," he said firmly, "I'm passing over to the Havens. Alone."  
  
*********  
  
The day had come, and Frodo stood on the shore with his three dearest friends. Behind them towered the enormous gray ship that was to carry him away to the Havens, the resting place of Heroes and elves and kings.  
  
The good-byes were short and slightly teary with Merry and Pippin; although they were obviously distressed by his departure, they at least had each other to hold to.   
  
As he came to stand in front of Sam, Frodo had to force himself to stand still and not fall into those strong arms and tell him he was forgiven. For, in his heart, Frodo _had_ forgiven Sam, but his dignity, his _pride_ would not allow any mercy to show through. What was done, was done, he reasoned, and there was no changing it. Anyway, he no longer felt safe and comfortable in Sam's arms as he used to. Sam was like a stranger to him.  
  
There was not a word said between them, just the intense lock of two pairs of brown eyes, one dark and chocolate colored and the other soft and light and filled with tears. Sam's lips trembled and Frodo had the urge to soothe them with is own.  
  
'No!' his dignity spoke up, 'Remember what he did to you. He deserves this!'  
  
Deciding to listen to the harsh, abused part of himself that seemed to speak it's mind too frequently lately, he kept his lips away from Sam's mouth, and restricted himself to the sorrow lined forehead.  
  
'Goodbye.' His heart whispered.  
  
As soon as he turned his back to Sam, he allowed the salty betrayers of his pride to fall to the sand.  
  
He boarded the elven ship regretful, and achingly hollow inside for some reason.  
  
THE END


End file.
